Procrastination, anxiety and all that

 It's always weird how our brains work. We get worried over ridiculous things and the grey matter won't let go. Sinks its proverbial teeth into the idea/fear and just shakes and shakes, with drool getting everywhere until you're frozen with indecision.

When, in the end, it didn't even matter. Fears are unfounded, the disappointment you were afraid was going to come, didn't. I like making things, but my fear of it not being good enough always keeps me from offering these things to others. There are so many other talented people out there, and I LOVE buying their things, I love wearing and showing off their things. And I like when I have an idea, I like that I know mostly how to make it happen. But the impostor syndrome is heavy. I envy anyone who knows their worth and doesn't have to have it pounded into their heads that it's ok, it's good, it's 'just fine'. 

Honestly, I'm tired of exhausting myself with these silly emotions that hold me back. Breaking free is the hardest part, isn't it. I worked so hard to get somewhere, so many years ago and it all came to a screeching halt and I've been clawing my way back to just a portion of that feeling ever since. I'm also afraid of failing to continue. I fight myself so much, daily that the attempt to hold oneself accountable is sometimes the entire battle and I still end up getting nothing done. 

What a vicious circle. 

So, today I vow to stop punishing myself (so much, I'mma try... Ok ok, I promise I will try to stop ) I'm going to try to enjoy my ability. I'm also going to make sure, to let all of the people I appreciate, know that I do, (so, so much) and then I'm going to go put up some more shelves for the craft room.

♦♦♦

In the meantime, enjoy this pretty, pretty picture I took this morning. The base skin is Deetalez' new Kayla skin (Celtic) and I just LOVE those Kayla addon eyebags. (I'm a sucker for eyebags even though my IRL ones aren't as pretty) I'm probably going to try using them on all my favorite skins from here on out. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deetalez
Kayla skin EvoX (Celtic)
Deetalez Addons
Sunkissed
Eyeshadow tintable
Contouring
alt eyelid
eyebags
Button Nose
Freckles
Realface
Other Layers
Cazimi Kissable Lips EvoX
Cazimi Nemesis Eyeliner
Cazimi Vanilla Subtle Eyeliner
Cake Inc Puff Love Blusher EvoX
Swallow Deetalez Celtic Ear layer
Song Cherri Mint Eye (BOM)

LittleFish Piercings
Desire
Iris
Swallow
Pixie Gauged S Ears
Earrings Pixie Gauged S01
Other Items
Lelutka Gaia
Magika hair Oats
Static Geodemon Horns (Ultrarare)

Be beautiful, experiment wildly and without fear. And always remember, Make a copy!
Love each other, care about one another;
Much love, Lumi 

I stand with:
BLM, PRIDE, UKRAINE

Call of the Void

 

It's strong, magnetic.
Do you jump?
No, you just laugh it off and continue on your way,
with the unsettling thought of how easy it would have been just to embrace that soft, nudging little whisper.

 

Head/Body
Lelutka Prim 3.1
Ebody Reborn
Kottr Squishy Thighs

Tattoos/Accessories
Shiny Stuffs
Nefekalum
AERTH
Nanite Systems
Izzie's
LadyBird
Cazimi
Deetalez (skin and skin details)
GLOOM (eyes)
Enfer Sombre (brows)
MONSO (hair)
Stoic (Ears/tail)
Cerridwen's Cauldron (antlers)
FACS (clothes)
LittleFish (belly piercing)
PENDULUM (Left hand claws)
L'Emporio&PL (right hand claws)
COLES CORNER (particle effects)
E X E
SashiMIA (thigh ring)

Be beautiful, experiment wildly and without fear. And always remember, Make a copy!
Love each other, care about one another;
Much love, Lumi 

I stand with:
BLM, PRIDE, UKRAINE

It's been a while, I forget this is here.

It's not on purpose; I promise.

Lots of things have been going on this last year,
into this year and it's been both scary, and
exciting. It's hard sometimes to think about the
extra things that you should be thinking about
and I guess this is why I don't get to do more things
or be more things. But most days I'm ok with that.

However, today I was so shocked, dismayed and more than
a little disgusted, (ok a lot disgusted) by some of the things
I was reading on social media.

Where the hell has people's brains gone? When did literally
everything NOT like oneself become something to attack?
I can't even, and my brain refuses to comprehend how people
can be so fucking ugly to each other and to others they might
not agree with. When did it become OK? I know when it became
OK, but I don't like it and I don't discuss politics.
Be kind to each other. Be mindful of each other, CARE for one
another. So much that I read this morning just made me absolutely
horrifically angry I went and mopped my freakin' house without MUSIC

Do you know how boring that is? No music while cleaning? That's how
mad I was, because I wanted to THINK about what I'd seen.

I had planned on making some giant rant about how terrible I thought everyone was, and then decided, what was the point. It wasn't going to change anything. People were still going to be disgustingly ugly inside and open their mouth and spew that trash all over everything they saw in an attempt to make everyone else as miserable and hateful as they were too. So instead, I just took a picture. (a few)
That's it, just a picture to reflect my mood.

If it's your entire personality to shit on others, because it's not what YOU think something should be? Whether it be in SL or RL, I don't care, you suck as a human and you should be ashamed of yourself and reevaluate who you are as a person, and I don't want anything to do with you. Take your ugly mind out of the gutter for 5 seconds and appreciate something as it is and not what you see it to be, freakin' weirdos.

“They say everything looks better with odd numbers of things. But sometimes I put even numbers — just to upset the critics.”
Bob Ross

 

 

Details:
LeLUTKA Prim
Ebody Reborn
Foxy (hair)
Littlefish (piercings)
Deetalez Aida (skin base)
Deetalez (Various BOM addons)
Izzie's (Various BOM addons)
Enfer Sombre (Sumire skin brows)
Nanite Systems (Metasyn tattoo lines)
Cazimi (Eyeliner)
SashiMIA (various addons)
Lotus (gacha eyes applier)

Be beautiful, experiment wildly and without fear. And always remember, Make a copy!
Much love, Lumi 

I stand with:
BLM, PRIDE, UKRAINE

 

Bah humbug and the end of one hell of a year

 Well, 2020 is almost done. Not going to lie, I've been extremely envious of people in other countries who really haven't had to deal with the weird, BizzaroWorld situation that is the US of A. Or the bible belt for that matter, or Oklahoma. 

As a person who comes from an area that's -Extremely- diverse, this last 4 years has been a really big eye opener and not very pleasant. I would welcome a return to some sort of rational thinking and hopefully some changes for the better. I feel quite caged here because I can't tell these terrible people, how truly terrible I think they are. Because they have a whole arsenal and they're violent. Made more so by their cult like madness. 

 

Sure, some of you might think I'm being a little bit broad in this stroke, that it might be a bit of exaggeration. I really wish it were. I really, really do. 

The year is ending on a hopeful note. I've made some wonderful friends who believe in me, my relationship is still intact, we're doing well emotionally. Which sadly I can't say for a lot of people who don't know how to talk to each other or deal with each other on a daily basis, with nothing else in between.  Ani's mother had to have surgery a few weeks ago, out of state because there were no hospitals in the entire state that could house her. (She needs an ICU when she does go, and this time was especially important) His dad had surprise pancreatitis while she was in the hospital and he too spent a week in care, (They're both fine thankfully), which was a little more scary because he was housed locally and while they're telling everyone on the news that everything is fine, nothing to see here, Every floor had doors decorated with little dots indicating whether they were containing covid19 positive patients or not. There were more that were positive than there weren't. Which is scary considering how many people in my small, rural county don't think it's a big deal. It's unpleasant to be in a place where wearing a mask is completely ostracized and sometimes almost violently responded to in the grocery aisle. I've been cursed at, coughed at and had way more close brushes when simply grabbing an item off the shelf than I'd like to remember. Having reliable grocery pickup options would be wonderful.

We are still saving for moving to somewhere more in line with our own moral ideals and possibly a little bit more sane.. Despite all the ugliness that's been exposed this year, despite how awful people are to each other. There's some hope. We just need to care about each other. We need to think outside of our own personal bubble about the affect we have on others. We need to try to care enough about someone else, with no thought of personal gain, so that maybe 2021 can begin to look up.  

 

I was going to do a holiday scene, but it just didn't feel right. This felt more appropriate for me. Iwanted some way to show off the Lilly gift head from LeLUTKA and I think this does it nicely. Not a single HD layer was used. I wanted to show how well it could work with just BOM and the materials on the HD maps. Happy Holidays, whatever you celebrate this season. And here's to hope for a better year this next go round. 

Love each other, care about one another;

and remember, always make a copy.

♥ Lumi

LeLutka Evolution is updating to 2.5 boundless! Oh MY!

 So! A couple of days ago, LeLutka officially launched their Boundless updates and Ooooh boy, this one was a BIG ONE!

I know many of you are asking 'What's boundless mean? What's bound mean?' Lemme tell you!

Boundless is the term LeLutka is using to explain their heads use the shape sliders to their fullest. It means that you can make just about anything, and you can actually start off with a default NEW SL shape (right click an inventory folder> New body part> New shape). 

Bound is the term LeLutka is using for the heads that have a more set shape, (before Fleur head released)

All heads made before Fleur were updated to Boundless, so there's going to be a lot of growing pains for shape makers and people who purchase their shapes. Anything made from Fleur and on is already Boundless and only needs very minor tweaks to shapes, if you wish. 

'But why do I have to tweak my shape at all?!' you exclaim. Well, this is because the original animation sets we all know and love were remastered, and there had to be some slight compromise with the head mesh movement so that animations were still recognizable as what they were. Every effort possible was made to keep the integrity of both head mesh and animation so this could be made possible. This also paves the way for Origins heads to get all these great updates in the future too. 

***LeLutka was thoughtful, and has packaged heads inside a box called DATED (at the top of your folders for the pre-fleur heads) that have the 2.0 rigging with all the 2.5 goodies! They work unbelievably hard to make everyone happy so please be sure to read all included information. There's always someone to lend a hand either in the group chat (when it works, or the discord. (Join here!)

The HUDs got a whole new workover and are now a blend of Origin's informative style and Evolution's minimalist style and can now be resized and has a light/dark mode (available in the settings tab). I 'm not going to get into the HUD. There's lots of informative HUD videos out there and I do recommend any of those. THIS is a particularly good one. As well as THIS one. The second is a link to Facebook video. 

What I wanted to do, was show off the ability to get as close as I could with the shapes in the pre-Boundless heads, and the changes in the current Boundless heads. Just to see if I could, and show everyone else that it's quite possible to do so.

Remember, these are my own personal shapes, and some were already stretching the shapes to their limits. So I came upon some walls while reshaping the 2.5 heads. The only real stinker was Lake, but she's sassy anyway and I love her for it. 

Let's get started, shall we? ♥

I didn't have too much trouble with Erin, but you can see some differences in her nose and jaw.

2.0

2.5 Retweaked

 Nova. Always so sweet. Again, the subtle nose differences, slight difference in the jaw line and eyes. Not too much here. I was able to rescue my shape and recreate it easily.

Nova 2.0

Nova 2.5 Retweaked

Lake, Lake, Lake. My lovely, troublesome Lake. I had to start from default to recreate her. I lost the pixie nose, and the jaw didn't want to make that classic heart shape, and the rounder eyes didn't want to happen, but I still love how close I was able to get to the original shape. 

Why yes, I am wearing the same skin base in Nova and Lake and Fleur, they do pretty well!

Lake 2.0

Lake 2.5 Recreated

Nuri is beautiful, I struggled a little to recreate the lips, but I got pretty close! 

Nuri 2.0

Nuri 2.5 Retweaked

**BOUNDLESS**

No 2.5 shapes have been tweaked beyond this point. (Meaning these are my 2.0 shapes, on the 2.5 heads with no changes.) Fleur and on were released new with the Boundless rigging so I'd like to feature the subtle differences.

Fleur did not change too terribly much, I think I like the 2.5 updates more.

2.0

2.5

Ryn got some slight changes too. Probably tweak it some to get her lips back.

2.0

2.5

And finally River, one of my personal SUPER favorites. She got a lot of changes, not all which I can show you because I don't own any male bodies. But she DID get a male neck update, so how cool is that! You can see the eye differences, and the lips are slightly different but it's nothing crazy.

So there you have it. All my shapes reproduced for the Boundless updates, and how they look on the updated Boundless heads. Lake took me 2 and a half days to recreate, just because I was being stubborn and trying to use my personal shape to do so. 

It is possible! Remember to always make a copy before making changes!

Lumi~♥

Resurrection

 It's been a while since I've blogged. But I wanted to share my absolute love of the androgynous Lelutka River head with those of you who read my little thoughts and rambles. 

It's awesome, there's a chin cleft and the features are absolutely intense without being overbearing. I've been playing with shaping the head, seeing what I can do with it and it really is capable of looking quite masculine or very bony feminine. There's a 2.5 update in the works, very soon and of course I'll have to tweak the slider features a little, but it's a 'Boundless' update that'll be coming and that means even more shape slider movement! I'm so excited I can hardly wait.

This feature I'm doing is a little more macabre, (Which is a style I love) and takes advantage of the Legacy body's ability to be transparent. GHOUL made some very lovely skeleton pieces that fit inside your body and it's very, very easy when using the BOM feature to get this effect! Now if we can get an emissive masking ability in one of the layers I'll be in heaven! Not much else is being worn aside from some sci fi pieces from SOLE (I love that place) a cute little hair from MOON and body augments from Ego&Aii and ears from Sweet Thing

I hope you enjoy what I came up with! <3

Skin BOM:       Enfer Sombre - Akasha (Albino tone)

              Enfer Sombre - Akasha brows

Makeup BOM:     Booty's Beauty shadows

                 Izzie's Shadows

               Lillith Tattoos

          BUS - eyes

 

 

Lelutka: Ryn

 I absolutely adore Ryn, she's part of the 'boundless' series of the new Lelutka Evolution heads and holy crow can she use those sliders. I've been playing with making shapes for her and these two I like the most. I love just how vastly different she can look. 

Unfortunately the HD makeup I can't remember exactly which it is, it's been a couple of weeks since I made the first avatar, but it's definitely Booty's Beauty. I like how subtle, yet bold her stuff can look.

Remember, with Lelutka Evolution and a legacy body, make sure you use the (SL) version of the head so the neck fits seamlessly, as you can see here. These are raw shots, straight from Firestorm using Gyazo. I don't use ultra lighting, my computer would explode. But I do use a med/high setting with some tweaks and Advanced lighting. I amp it up for taking glamour shots like this. My windlight is Creepy Pyri in this case.

Take care of each other, ♥

Skin:       Enfer Sombre - Ume

Makeup: Booty's Beauty shadows

                    Izzie's gloom shadow

                    Booty's Beauty lippy

Skin:      Enfer Sombre - Ume

Makeup: Izzie's Eyebags

                    Alaskametro Duochrome Shadow

                   ThisIsWrong Animatronix Tattoo

                   Izzie's Dimples

                   Ottilie Dolly Lipstick